Things I Miss About Home

     Don't get me wrong, I am loving it here. However, at some point of everyday I am reminded of where my heart really lies.  Whether it be a feeling in the air that reminds me of a certain memory from childhood, a sound that takes me back to my bedroom, a smell that takes me to my kitchen, a flavor that takes me to a meal, I get mental images that make me feel as though I am there again. Usually always good memories, sometimes with a sense of regret and loneliness, I grasp on to these mental snapshots of home.  Below are a few select things that I have been reminded of over the past month: 

-Waking up on Saturday or Sunday morning to my parents sitting in the living room reading the paper, already on their second or third cup of coffee, and spending the morning with them. 

 -Being awoken in the morning because of loud footsteps I can hear from downstairs, usually my Dad's. I find a strange comfort in this sound as it is a very vivid image of home. Many times at school I have woken up to sounds similar to this thinking I was at home in my own bed. 

-My neighborhood in the fall 

-The Downtown Y

-The Belcourt
-My cowboy boots

-A good cup of coffee. A really good cup of coffee. 

-Good people watching at Fido's to go with that cup of coffee

-Country music

-Driving my car
-Driving with my mom to Cool Springs to pick Megan up from dance. Even though I know it was a pain for my mom to drive to Cool Springs, part of me always looked forward to those drives. During the school year it was one of the rare times that the three of us were in the same place. 
-A burrito as big as my face from Baja Burrito
-My brother yelling at me when I tell him to "get it, girl", "Paige, I am NOT a girl!!!"
-Going into incense scented vintage and second hand clothing stores. I know this seems really random, but this was an activity I started to do in high school and is still something I really enjoy doing today. It reminds me of many afternoons spent with Lauryn. 
-Driving with Lauryn to Ashland City to the diner.
-Driving back home from Corky's in the summer after a long, hard day of work, and I'm sure my fair share of mess ups, with my shoes off, the widows rolled down, and the radio turned up. All the while my hair and clothes completely drenched with the scent of BBQ.

-Hendrix College
-Conway, Arkansas

-Having the confidence that where ever I drive in Conway I know where I am going. All roads lead to Hendrix. 

-Sitting in the Pecan Grove with no agenda on a beautiful spring day
-Staying up until 4AM with Jordana in the computer lab making our Stat. cheat sheet and becoming so tired that I couldn't stop laughing.  I still made a 35 on the test.  

-Huntington 16 and the best roommates a girl could ask for
-Galloway 222, studying in the Parlor, and all the girls that made that dorm special

     I could really go on forever. Two and half years ago I never thought I would consider Hendrix home, now it's hard to imagine life without it. I know that in time Glasgow will become my home, and maybe in a year from now I'll be making another list of things I miss about being here. 


     P.S. I changed the name of blog because I feel it better represents my time in Scotland; the Southern United States meets Glasgow. Everyone here says "cheers" (instead of saying thank you/you're welcome), so I thought "y'all" a truly Southern word, put with "cheers" made the perfect Southern Scottish combination. Many thanks to Michelle for inspiring this. 

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

     I planned my first non UK trip! I am going to Krakow, Poland with some of my friends from Hendrix. I never really thought about going to Poland until the idea was suggested to me, but now I am super excited about going there. It will be interesting to go to a European city that is completely different from ones I have seen in the UK. Along with seeing the city, we're also going to go on a tour of Auschwitz, which to be honest, I'm kind of nervous about. Nervous isn't really the right word per se, but when I think about it I get a sick feeling in my stomach. Thinking about going there reminded me of the time in high school I was going to a protest the night of a death penalty execution. It was not something I was particularly excited for or looking forward to, but I was still interested and intrigued by the whole experience. I feel similarly about about going to Auschwitz. I know it won't be "fun", but it will interesting and unlike any place I've ever been to. 

     I will be doing A LOT of traveling by myself on this trip. Since there were no convenient flights from anywhere in Scotland to Krakow, I am meeting Michelle in Chester, England, staying with her for a few days and then we're flying from Liverpool into Krakow together.  Getting to my plane in Liverpool is going to involve a bus ride, a train ride, and of course a lot of walking. It will be an experience, but I know it will be good for me. I'm getting better at the whole public transportation thing. I took the subway by myself for the first time yesterday. Granted, the subway system here goes in a circle and is pretty easy to figure out, but I still felt like I accomplished something. Even though it's hard to organize all of this, I am quite glad it worked out this way so that I can go to England as I will probably not be going there again during the next three months. I also planned another trip for the weekend right after Poland in Carbisdale, Scotland.  The international society at Strathclyde rents out a hostel for 150 students and we stay there for the weekend. The hostel we are staying in was once a castle that has been converted to a hostel. I am so looking forward to getting away from the city for a few days and seeing a more rural part of Scotland. 

     We've also been starting our Spring break plans, picking our final destinations, making a timeline and such. Talking about all of this traveling, all of it becoming a reality, is so humbling to me. How do I deserve all this? I don't think I'll ever understand how things work out in life, so all I can do is be thankful that they are working out like this for me. 

     Things feel like they are finally starting to level out here. I'm getting used to my classes, know where I'm going on campus, learning what time to wake up in the morning, getting lost   in Glasgow, business as usual. I'm starting to feel like a normal student again. Sort of. 

The Ugly Sister

     I recently heard someone compare Edinburgh to Glasgow by saying that Glasgow is the fun, ugly sister that everyone wants to hangout with while Edinburgh is the nice, pretty sister. After going to Edinburgh for a night and day, I understand why people say this. Edinburgh is beautiful. It seems much more Scottish than the industrial Glasgow. Cobblestone streets and the castle really give it a more European vibe than the feeling in Glasgow. I really do love it here, though, and find it exhillirating to be living in a big city.  We mostly walked around the city, and of course saw the Edinburgh castle. I also tried some Scottish cuisine this weekend. I had my first fish and chips at a pub, it was delicious, and finally tried Haggis. It wasn't just Haggis, but fried Haggis balls. They were...gross. I am learning that Scotland has a lot of other things to be recognized for other than food. My favorite part of the Edinburgh trip was staying in a hostel for the night. I'd never stayed in one before and I absolutely loved the experience. Everyone working and staying there was so kind and welcoming. Staying there was just really comfortable. I have decided that if my plan of moving to California after I graduate college doesn't work out, I'm going to pick a random European city, move there, and work in a hostel. It seems like a great way to travel and meet people, especially for a young person who is trying to figure out what to do with their life. 
     I finally got my classes figured out this week. I'm taking four classes; The Universe and Everything in It, Social Theory, Men and Masculinities in a Global Context, and the Private Self: Forms and Traditions of Life Writing. So far, unsurprisingly, my social theory class is really boring, I haven't been to my man class yet, The Universe seems like it will be fairly easy, and I've only been to my English class once but I really enjoyed the lecture. I think I will like this class a lot. The readings seem good and I really liked the professor. I am going to be happy to get into a routine and be settled into my schedule. It's kind of confusing here because three of my four classes have seminars in addition to the lectures. There's only four lectures for each class over the course of the semester, but they don't contribute to the grade at all. I feel that these classes will make me appreciate the classes at Hendrix a lot more. Not that the classes here are awful, so far they just don't seem that interesting or very thought provoking. At Hendrix I constantly feel challenged. I have to work really hard and I'm discovering that I need that constant challenge to keep me motivated. 
     This week when going to class I kept getting lost, unexcusabley because the campus is not that big, and missed a class seminar because I was running late. I feel so obvious that I'm a foreigner when I get lost. I'm frantically running around a classroom building, somehow  drenched in sweat, and usually out of breath by the time I finally find where I am supposed to be. This week should be better. 
     I'm looking forward to some American culture tonight when we go watch the Super Bowl at a pub. I guess you can never really escape American sports, even in Scotland.  

Joy Ride

     Yesterday marked a week that I have been here in Glasgow. I can't believe it. It feels like I've been here for a while now, most definitely over a week. So far things are going well. Class registration is really unorganized here, and I'm still trying to get into classes, so that is stressful. 

     To be completely honest, since getting here a week ago, I haven't felt that much of a culture shock. The worst day was the first day, when I had no idea where the hell I was going and was aimlessly walking around the city all day and wandered into a coffee shop after trying to open the door for five minutes. The weirdest part for me has been getting to the realization that I'm in Scotland. Sometimes I have a hard time placing myself in the world. It's easy for me to forget how far away from home I really am, how much space is separating me from my family. 

      There is one thing that I have had to adjust to and that is how I do grocery shopping here. At school last semester my roommates and I would go and by food that lasted us for several weeks, here people go shopping to last them for several days. It's almost impossible to find frozen dinners! There's a lot of prepackaged meals, though, which I have been buying. And the produce here isn't very good. It is making me appreciate Arkansas agriculture a lot more. It's also really hard to eat vegetarian. Everything has meat in it. I guess that not a surprise in Haggis land. I went shopping on Friday and bought a lot of groceries compared to what people usually buy here (still not a lot for me) and the guy checking me out in line made a comment about needing extra bags for all the food I bought. I eat differently here. My days don't revolve around what and when I eat like they do at home. Also, coffee here is terrible. Everyone drinks instant coffee, and when I ordered regular coffee at Startbucks even it was bad, cold and weak. People here DO NOT drink their coffee black. Every time I've ordered coffee, half of the cup (literally) was empty to make room for cream. After the third time I ordered it I learned to never order coffee again. 

      Everyone here goes out. Last night was the first night I hadn’t gone out since I've been here. It sounds stupid, but it really is part of the cultural experience of being in Scotland. OK, I can't believe I just said that. But it's true! The university even hosts an international student pub night!  

     This weekend we went on a walking tour of Glasgow. We saw the west end which I hadn't seen before and I really enjoyed it. It was definitely the part of town I would be more likely to do my shopping in; small grocery stores, secondhand clothing stores, used book stores, etc. The part of town we are in now has nice, more upscale and expensive stores. We also saw the University of Glasgow campus which is absolutely beautiful. It legit looks like Hogwarts. 

      I really feel like I am adjusting well to being here. Before I left I kept thinking that this experience would be like freshman year of college, and in so many, many ways it is, but there are also a lot of things about being here that are different. I definitely couldn't have done this freshman year, not even last year.  I don't really feel lonely or scared like I did as a freshman. Being here has made me realize how truly amazing my friends and family at home are. I know that no matter how far apart I am from them, they will always be there for me, loving me. I don't really feel like I've connected with people on a deep level like that here yet (how could I, it's only been a week?), but even if I never do that's OK with me. Being here is more about myself, learning who I am and how I cope with new situations. I do miss my Hendrix girls, though! I'm trying to not let the obsessive compulsive Paige come out very much. I try to just go with the flow and let other people do all the planning. Now I understand why most people are like that. Ha! It makes life so much less stressful.  

      I also plan on using this time to travel as much as I can. I am so excited that Jordana and I have the same two-week break in April! Knowing that I'll see friends over the next four months keeps me going some days. I also spoke to my second cousin (my dad's cousin) who lives and teaches in Italy so I plan on visiting her at some point while I am here. I just heard back from her this morning and I am SO excited to go visit her! It is always cool to stay with someone who actually lives where you are going instead of just being a tourist. 

      I know that these next four months will be an experience, no matter what happens, so I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the ride.

Good Feeling

      I take pride in the fact that I have been to a lot of concerts. Growing up in Nashville with a rock mom who was always willing to take me to shows, I have been fortunate enough to experience many great musical acts while growing up. There have definitely been some memorable occurrences at these shows, from Ray LaMontagne walking off stage in the middle of “Burn” because he thought a spectator was laughing at him, Ryan Adams pulling his usual shenanigans and kicking someone out of the Ryman auditorium, Damien Rice singing in the dark at the Belcourt, to Nellie McKay bringing fans on stage to play piano with her, there have been a lot of memorable moments, but there is one moment in particular that means more to me than the others.

            To put it simply, I love Travis. I discovered The Man Who in high school and fell in love. The lyrics spoke to my lost, seventeen year old soul, “why does it always rain on me ?, "  I asked myself a little too frequently. From there I was Happy to Hang Around with 12 Memories, Sang along with The Invisible Band, and rocked out to Good Feeling. Through high school and into college I found solace in Travis. The lyrics are simple but written in a truly poetic way that make the listener feel connected with the music. I like to think of Travis as the Scottish Bruce Springsteen, music for the everyman.  Travis has a way of putting poignancy and sadness into their songs while disguising them in a catchy, upbeat melody. Sometimes I forget this, and go along singing the songs, knowing every beat and breath, and then I look back at the lyrics and realize the tenderness of the words I have just sung.

            In the summer of 2007 I traveled from Nashville to Atlanta with my mom and Lauryn, my best friend, to see Travis on The Boy With No Name U.S. tour. This was the first time I was seeing the band so anticipation was high. I was not let down. I walked out of the Tabernacele thinking that if I could hold onto this happiness forever everything in my life would be OK. Alas, time and emotion are fleeting are this moment was soon just another memory.

            When I saw that Fran and Andy of Travis were touring the U.S. again, to say I was excited is an understatement. I was lucky enough to see that they were playing in Nashville at the independent movie theater in town. I go to school in Arkansas, but I HAD to get to the show. Part of this story does involve the fact that I skipped class and I had to drive back to Conway at 5AM through a Red Bull educed haze, but I will spare you the details. The important part is that I made it to the show.

            I arrived at the Belcourt and settled into my creaky, vintage movie theater seat, looking around me and already feeling disappointed at the lack of attendance. I love Travis so much, that sometimes I forget that not everyone is a fan. Even though I was obviously not the only person at the show I felt like I was sitting in Fran’s living room looking through old photo albums and talking about the past. I was taking an intimate look into the meaning and experiences behind these songs, and not in a way that made me feel isolated from the music. I really can’t think of a more appropriate type of show for Travis, because listening to their music has always made me feel connected. At this show I laughed, I cried, I remembered why I love this band so much. I was taken aback by Fran’s sincerity and honesty. I found his openness about the songs and their meanings heartening. I felt like more than a fan, what I felt like though, I’m not really sure I can explain. Going along with the vein of the whole show, Fran and Andy came out to the lobby afterwards and sold their own merchandise and signed autographs. Of course, after waiting in line for 45 minutes and finally getting to the front, the only words I could muster up were “Can you sign my ticketstub?”I didn’t really know how to articulate how I was feeling. Even thinking about it now three months later, I’m not sure what I would say if faced with the opportunity again. It’s a weird, personal feeling that just leaves me feeling happy and sad; happy to be a Travis fan having this experience, sad that this can’t last forever.

            So maybe it’s fitting that I finally finish this review as I sit waiting to board my plane to Glasgow, Scotland, the home of Travis. On the flight I know I will listen to some Travis, and the music will be like comfort from an old friend, calming me and telling me that it will be OK, it will all be OK.  

Preparations

     It's been a while since I've used this, but my updates are about to become more frequent as I plan on using this as my travel blog to document my time living in Glasgow, Scotland this semester. Time to my departure is getting closer! I'm getting ready to leave by doing little, important things everyday, buying clothes and accessories that I need, listening to lots of Travis, catching up on network TV shows I've missed this semester, etc., but I know that when it comes right down to it I can never be truly prepared. The day will come to leave and I will board the plane to Glasgow with the same amount of anxiety, anticipation and excitement no matter how many preparations I've made. As crazy as it sounds, leaving hasn't really hit me yet. I think it will only finally hit me when I get off the plane in Glasgow and am violently pounded over the head while standing in the middle of the city, lost, asking people to repeat themselves multiple times while my American ears adjust to the accent.

     I have been trying to make use of my time at home as best as possible. As part of my goal to make money over the winter break I have become the subject of a medical research study at Vanderbilt. Today I started a four day diet to prepare me for the study which will happen on Friday. I can't tell you what the study is exactly, not for confidentiality reasons, but because I really don't understand what they are researching. Ha! I do know that  my blood pressure has to be controlled so I can only eat what they give me. After completing the diet after just one day I have learned something important about myself; I am utterly addicted to coffee. I had the worst migraine in my life this afternoon which a nap hardly helped suppress.  Lauryn always says how I get the most random jobs (food product taste tester, minor league baseball usher, etc.)  and I have to agree with her that this is pretty random. Pub money, I keep telling myself. And it really is not that bad, I might even throw fun out there. It is free food.

     The next time I write I may be writing from Scotland, but for now it's time to get back to catching up on those TV shows... 
 

Here goes nothing...

     So here is my foray into the blogging world. I must admit, I have had some experience in the world of blogging before. My freshman year of high school I had a blog called "I Wish I Had a River I Could Skate Away On", if that tells you anything about the kind of teenager I was. AOL got rid of their journals section so it no longer exist on the Internet. I read it a couple of years ago and thought it was hilarious. I wish it still existed. It was more like a journal; I can't believe I wrote some of that stuff for everyone to see! For this blog though, I don't really have a goal or a theme. I guess the theme is just me. I have really hesitated this long because sometimes I don't know what to say, and I feel weird putting my writing out there for everyone to see. I feel things so strongly sometimes, and then when I sit down to write about it, nothing comes out and it's the most frustrating thing. Then it's easier just not to write. But it's worth a shot. So here goes nothing.